Disability and Sexual Assault

After an accident on UCT premises for which the department was responsible, I found out about the DU (Disability Unit) who informed me of my rights. Surgery and some physio at UCT was covered, which was a basic requirement for any accident on campus. Later I failed to sue UCT and paid for bio-kinetics myself. It’s a lifelong issue, now over a decade (impacted 2 more joints) and my foreign medical aid had bailed.
I got invisible disabilities and returned after a couple of years. The DU could not help in any way, I had depression and 2 other illnesses besides physical disability. To be at UCT, I had to rent accommodation very close to campus (more expensive) as my chronic illness made Res inaccessible. I also had to pay a doctor’s visit monthly while my chronic illness was a lifelong issue. I don’t know if that’s a departmental (Humanities) issue, medical aid did cover some. Has it changed that one needs to prove a gynecological chronic illness every month?

Later I got sexually assaulted on campus by an employee, I was one of 2 or 3 sexually assaulted students by that man according to a Varsity writer. I had to encounter him several times a week. Reinette Popplestone could not understand why I was asking her for advice/ access assistance. I was targeted because of my disability, I was coming down steps with difficulty and he sexually assaulted me. Friends could not always wait for my last lecture to accompany me. She referred me to DISCHO without telling me DISCHO was window-dressing. Instead of resolving the issue, they caused the man to verbally assault me further on campus because I had complained. DISCHO still had the nerve to be more window-dressing after that, ignoring the question ‘Isn’t that proof of his guilt if they didn’t tell him my name/description allegedly and he yelled at me in a crowd insulting me because I had complained against him?’
DISCHO didn’t look for witnesses. Later SAPS couldn’t find any. The VC’s office took 4 months to reply, which was 7 months after my initial complaint. The DU allowed me to use disabled transport then. Some months later I was sexually harassed by one driver who has one’s number for the job. Ms. Popplestone said it was because of the way I dressed!! I asked “How could you say that!?” surprised that she, too, supports rape culture. She said it’s what she’s been told. I can’t believe I actually had to describe what I wore. [I can’t wear jeans bc of knee injury, I didn’t wear dresses/skirts either. Let’s not go there, just both incidents were in winter, was my jacket too puffy? I got it on sale so it was actually a size too big.] and I was sent to the DISCHO again!!

I had to somehow manage to come to campus for lectures & tuts at the end of that year and write my exams without transport on odd days and while still encountering my (1st) sexual assaulter occasionally.

In my 3rd year I got disabled parking. I’d been for counselling at Rape Crisis, and at Triangle mostly. They stepped up for UCT’s failures. I still had PTSD.
When discussing options with Ms Popplestone, she said there doesn’t seem to be any solutions and asked me “why don’t I leave UCT?”. She confessed to me that she had been against my getting a parking disk(!!) but there’d been other co-managers then. I was always more than civil with her and didn’t put on social media or blogs that UCT, DISCHO  and the DU are pro-rape. There should have been a way to deal with that without having to explain to her that my country had only one uni which was hard to get in to and without the same courses; my one course was also unavailable in SA. I was asking for access and paying UCT for a degree!

I could never get extra time, it’s for people who really need it I was told. Same for my final year, with extra workload from the previous year and battling with what I thought was PTSD! Then I got a diagnosis and that didn’t help. I never complained of the issues with the DU as the decision-making seemed so arbitrary, and one doesn’t want to be further discriminated against by Ms Popplestone when one will depend heavily on access to finish a course.

A well-meaning lecturer was comparing me with another student with cancer, saying if she can manage why can’t I.

At departmental level I did not get deferred exams.


Sexual violence in Queer relationships

I’m a black queer student. Coming from a country where being queer is illegal, when I applied to universities, I thought that that the progressive UCT in South Africa would be the best choice, a fresh and enjoyable change. In many ways not being criminalized because of your sexuality was an emancipatory experience, but the joy of not having the law and police persecute you was short lived.

I had, in all the excitement of being in a new country, where there were openly queer relationships, ended up in a relationship, which I did not particularly want to be in, with an older gay white man. Early on in the relationship things were okay, but there was a clear shift to what I can now say very explicitly was a not okay period, which signifies a failure in UCT student affairs systems, particularly DISCHO and also my sexual education at the time or lack thereof.

It was three quarters into the semester that the line of consent was crossed, I was being assaulted, this is only clear to me in retrospect, and difficult thing to write. The relationship was going wrong, and my boyfriend was very possessive, at times stopping me from seeing my sister who was also studying at UCT, by not allowing me to leave his place. It was at around this time, that the emotional breakdown of the relationship meant that I no longer wanted to have sex, with this person whom I had previously been having sex with.

I had however not been taught by DISCHO that sexual assault could happen whilst in a relationship, that rape could happen with your partner. Nobody had ever told me that a “no” with a stranger carried the same weight as a “no” in a relationship. I lacked the sexuality, sexual and relationship education to empower me to get out of a situation that was clearly wrong. This culminated in a drawn out break down. Only finally when I broke of the relationship, during the early part of the second semester, did the situation escalate enough for me to understand what was happening.

After going to the person’s house to end things, he responded “Fine, but then let’s do it one last time, for me.” I didn’t use a question mark, because it wasn’t a question, and I don’t want to go into all the details. It was only then, where I realized what was occurring, the thoughts in my head at the time, while I lay there, were only this “possibly could be rape”.

I mean in my warped understanding I had been in a relationship with this person for six months. I had already at one point amicably slept with him, despite that being a long time ago. I also felt partly that he was entitled to sex.

Rape, in the little education I had from any institution was always gendered in the binary, so between men and women. I had the misconception that it was carried out by violent serial rapists in dark places. It was only a year later, in a law lecture where we discussed marital rape, where I clearly remember feeling overwhelmed and having to leave to go home. In that lecture, after two years of being at UCT, the idea that a relationship does not give consent to any sexual acts became clear to me.

I am writing this because it is clear to me now that forced sex even in a relationship is rape. Rape is and can be enacted on a gender non-conforming femmenine bodies, in queer relationships. My situation could have been remedied and reported if I had the knowledge I needed at the time.

Finding out a year later, and understanding what happened to me was a conflicting experience because I could put a label to the issue and the problem arising from it that affected me and I started working on fixing them , getting help and re-building my relationship with sex.

I hope that in writing this, that someone might know the things that I wish I knew when I got into that relationship, the things that I needed to know about sex and when it was sex anymore, but was actually sexual assault and rape.

Statement for #RapeAtUCT

Over the weekend, as the arrest of the suspected serial rapist dominated the news, we as UCT Survivors ask ‘What about all the perpetrators of sexual violence in their class rooms and residences that UCT has not offered a reward for?’ If the management of this institution are serious about tackling sexual violence on this campus, they need to be open about the perpetrators that are part of the UCT community. They need to be open about how their structures have failed survivors in the past. Last year, a review of the Discrimination and Harassment Office (DISCHO) was commissioned and UCT management has yet to make it public for comment from the whole UCT community. It details some of the failures of these structures and details management’s negligence towards these structures as well as the questionable qualifications of those appointed to head up the disciplinary procedures that are part of these structures. We as a collective are calling for the immediate release of this document.

Council, one of UCT’s decision making structures, is meeting to talk about the document this week and we are calling for this meeting to be open to all members of the UCT community. We are calling for this meeting, which will discuss matters that impact our safety and well-being, to not happen at a secret venue cordoned off by private security. This meeting will happen on Saturday, the 19th of March. Security is conspicuously thin on the weekends leaving students vulnerable to attack, yet there will considerable security protecting 28 council members from the mere possibility of student protest.

Last month, the statement informing the UCT community about the establishment of the Sexual Assault Response Team (SART) was literally a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ bullet point among issues such as housing and financial aid appeals. It gave no time frame for when this body will be up and running. It gave no indicator of how this body will report back to the UCT community. Included in this body are CPS, who at Patriarchy Must fall meetings last year students complained that some members had catcalled and harassed them. Also included are Student Wellness, a body which some students complain is difficult to get a timely appointment and some survivors have been dissatisfied with the service that they received there. These issues were brought up in the review process.

Also in this body, is a SAPS representative. The South African Police Service is an institution that survivors are reluctant to report to, for fear of victim-blaming, secondary trauma and not being believed. The person heading up this body, Sinegugu Duma, has written work that contains undertones of victim-blaming and placing the burden of responsibility on women in particular to not get raped. We welcome the inclusion of the Rape Crisis Centre into this body – an organisation that has served the needs of survivors for many years. But going from the lack of transparency and failures of previous structures, how do we expect survivors to trust the structures? We as a collective support the establishment of a body that is supposed to provide compassionate and survivor-centred care but we call for this body to be held accountable and we will be unflinching in our quest to ensure that it lives up to its mandate.

The statements that UCT sends out every time someone is sexually assaulted always carry the same message to female students in particular, ‘make sure it isn’t you’ next time – pushing students to change their behaviour to avoid rape is the same as saying ‘make sure the rapist targets someone else’. It creates a culture of victim-blaming.

There’s been no promise to comprehensively tackle the sexism and rape culture on campus that creates stigma for a survivor of sexual violence and discourage survivors from reporting. There has been no promise of campus wide sensitisation and education for staff members, workers and students about gender-based violence. The assumption (and UCT’s preferred narrative about sexual violence) is that all the perpetrators are people from outside UCT community which isn’t true for a lot of cases we’ve been told about.

It is an accepted truth within the research literature about sexual violence that majority of rapists and perpetrators of sexual violence are known to the victim or survivor – that would include, acquaintances, friends, class mates, staff members that teach them. But these are not the perpetrators that UCT will send out emails and warnings about – repeat offendors of sexual harassment and other forms of threatening behaviours that are known to the university structures but remain on campus are not who they will write to you about.   UCT has not made a clear commitment that perpetrators that are registered to study here and that have been appointed to work here will be expelled or even suspended pending an investigation (a measure they instituted once again for protesting students).

Even if these people are not the perpetrators, these are the people survivors are expected to approach post-trauma. These are the tutors, lecturers and residence mates that survivors need to interact with and get help from. UCT management and its structures need to make a commitment dismantling the everyday sexism and misogyny that not only fuels sexual violence but creates an environment of tolerance and silence about it. We as UCT Survivors are committed to dismantling the PR double speak that allows this institution to insist that it is doing enough when it comes to issues of gender justice because to be quite frank they’re not.


*Sexual violence = sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape

Intimate Partner Violence at UCT

When it happened I remember hoping that at any moment security would hear me screaming and make it stop. I didn’t care that they’d see me naked. Or that id have to explain that was my boyfriend. Or what I was doing there in the first place. They never came to save me. For a long time afterwards I didn’t know what to do. I tried to talk to him about it but he dismissed it saying that’s what I liked. He didn’t think I could read into that power exchange and the reason why my body became a site of violence. It took a suicide attempt, hospitalization and a semester off school to come back. I went to DISHCO and asked what my options are. We do the same thing on the same campus and I didn’t want to see him again. At best they offered me a talk with him. One I’d never be able to tell anyone about. What about him being expelled? Him staying as far away from me as possible? I was supposed to be graduating that year. I didn’t, he did. He’s doing his masters now and I have to see him everyday. I have to relive being violated everyday. My psychiatrist says I’m going to live with that forever. UCT has played no part in making any of it easier. On the same campus a serial rapist was given community service, what of me if that’s the way they deal with it? They asked me to take time off. When I came back they became insistent I take more time off. I don’t think it was to help me, more that as a victim of rape I was the liability. Not him.


Yesterday the UCT PR machine sent out an email labelled “Campus Announcement: Security alert: another Rhodes Memorial incident”. This communication is the latest in a string of emails detailing incidents of sexual violence that have happened near Rhodes Memorial – a tourist destination and memorial to a thieving colonialist attached to the campus that also doubles as extra parking space. The university stated that it was “distressed and outraged” that the total attacks on women near the memorial that have now reached four in just over two months. Yet, cases of sexual violence have happened at Rhodes Memorial for years. The difference is that after years of veritable silence about this issue, UCT is now sending out alerts about sexual assault incidents that occur on and near UCT property.

Last week, when the total number of women attacked was three, one commentator on Facebook, Stewart Innes, noted that   “Maybe if half the security guards outside exam venues had been patrolling the periphery of campus this could have been avoided. It was mightily excessive/heavy handed that I wrote an exam on the 12th(the day after one of the incidents) with 9 other people and still 4 guards standing outside on their cellphones because there was no threat. Food for thought.” This commentator made it clear that UCT shows its priorities by where it puts its resources. More security in this particular area would be a small part of the solution but it would be a plaster on a problem that has been festering for years.

On January the 16th, I tweeted @UCT_ News the following: “So this week I got catcalled by the private security on campus? Who are they there to protect? Definitely not me or other women.” They responded by letting me know that the “additional security on campus during deferred exams belong to a company affiliated to G4S which is responsible for campus safety”. They also urged me to report the incident to DISCHO. I fired back by asking them to ensure the report detailing how DISCHO has failed students is released to the public. Last year, I attended two of the sessions of the review process that this report would stem from. I listened to student organisation after student organisation bring forward information from their constituents about how these structures have not only been inadequate but have also re-traumatised them.

I tweeted @UCT_News again and asked them to provide proof that the various problems raised in the review process have been dealt with and was met with no response. I have personal experience of being a rape survivor at this institution, of friends who are survivors leaving due to a lack of institutional support, of friends who are still here and need to face their perpetrators on a consistent basis. Instead of window dressing – hastily fired off tweets and carefully constructed emails – UCT’s structures need to prove that they can be trusted in order to combat underreporting. It’s important that incidents at Rhodes Memorial were reported and the university responded by offering counselling and medical services but we still need to ask questions about the extent of and efficacy of these services.

On the 29 January, we received another one of management’s email communique specials. VC Max Price let the UCT community know that the university will continue to call on additional private security throughout the year – if needed. Apparently, they will be a stand-by defence force against protesting students. I’m waiting for an email informing us that Is UCT going to call on additional security to patrol high risk areas for rape like Rhodes Memorial. So far, they’ve responded by putting more security on the bridge over the M3 and telling us to not walk alone. In terms of dealing with the incidents of sexual assault that happen within residences, I fear that email communique is never coming.

So far the only solution brought forward to deal directly with incidents at Rhodes Memorial is to tell us to not go there after dark. But for protesting students they’re willing to bring in a paramilitary force. In the statement, Price goes on to say: “A university is a space of reasoned debate and reflection, and a shared commitment to mutually respectful engagement. We draw the line at protest actions that subvert or deny the rights of other students, staff and workers to participate in university life. And we will protect these rights.” We can only live in hope for the day that the “rights” of students who are also survivors of sexual violence are also upheld in such a seemingly impassioned way. We can only wait for the day that our safety and mental, emotional and physical well-being is brought to the fore. We cross our fingers, we tell our stories, and we protest for the day that our access to education and the academy is defended.

Dela Gwala is full-time feminist and MA Creative Writing student at the University of Cape Town. This blog post was originally published here: https://genderspecs.wordpress.com/

I was stalked for two years at UCT

Five years ago I returned to my alma Mater, UCT, to take up a position as a lecturer. It had been four years since I had been on campus. One day, during the first few weeks of my position, I saw him. The young man who had harassed and stalked me during my undergraduate days was swaggering across Jammie Plaza all these years later.  The panic and fear that once held a grip on 19-year-old me came rushing back. I was frozen in terror. I don’t know what he was doing on campus or what his connection to UCT is these days but I am stunned that this man continues to prowl the corridors of the institution after all the trauma he put me and several other young women through. In the intervening years I had earned a PhD and a permanent post on campus, but I realised in that moment that no matter what I achieved or how hard I worked I would never gain the freedom to feel safe and protected on campus.

Back in 2003 I was sitting on campus and reading when I noticed a man staring intently at me about a table away from me. I felt uncomfortable and left Leslie social science. As I walked down to my Res, I noticed someone following closely behind me. It was him. It might sound like I was being overly paranoid but there was something very intent and disturbing about the way he was following me and staring at me. I was scared and I wanted nothing to do with this man.  Afraid that he would follow me far enough to discover that I lived in a res on campus, I tried to get lost amidst passing groups of people. Then I hung back near the law campus hoping that he would carry on walking and leave me alone.

Instead he walked back to me and asked me why I was sitting there and asked what I was afraid of. I told him I was fine and asked him politely to leave me be. At this he got angry and told me that I don’t need to be afraid. I just told him ‘I’m fine’ but that I don’t want to talk to him. Then to avoid spending any more time in the conversation, I carried on walking. This was the beginning of two years of stalking…

I got down to lower campus and noted that he was still walking two to three metres behind me. I felt it was unsafe to go to my res so I walked to campus protection and told them what was going on. When I described the guy the CPS officers immediately recognised who I was talking about and seemed upset. From talking informally to them I learned that this person was a repeat offender on campus, and more disturbingly, had extended his stalking of a particular young woman to an assault in which he reached up her skirt and touched her genital area.  CPS told me, however, that they could do little to stop this person because each case has to be treated separately and has to go through the discrimination and harassment office rather than being handled by CPS like robberies etc. They brought him in to the CPS building to ask him to stop bothering me. At this point he threw an enormous tantrum, screaming and wailing the office. I realised then that he was potentially quite a dangerous person. The CPS officer on duty seemed exasperated. He was powerless to do anything about someone he’d seen harassing and violating women on campus repeatedly. I am very thankful for the support and kindness I received from CPS. If only they had any authority to handle these cases I might have had a better experience at UCT.

This incident was the first in long campaign of harassment by this individual. He approached me in the hallways of the university, in the library, on the shuttle and several times followed me home. I routinely started walking around my res in case he saw me enter and found a way into the building. Every hallway on campus became a site of fear. I particularly hated going to classrooms in basement areas. I was afraid of certain rooms in the library ( the thesis collections in the basement, the photocopy area). With every encounter he became more aggressive. He spoke to me in a way that assumed a relationship that simply wasn’t there. “Why are you being like this to me” he would say. “Why won’t you talk to me”. Then he would start shouting loudly “You are so rude!” “ Why are you treating me like this”  I felt like I was having a fight with a boyfriend except I didn’t know this guy at all and had no desire to be anywhere near him. I could do nothing more than simply repeat that I wanted to be left alone before running away as fast as I could. I don’t know how I could have been any clearer. This lasted for about two years off and on. It happened every now and then, not constantly but the fear was there all the time.

Shortly after the first incident I went to the discrimination and harassment office where I was advised against taking him to the UCT court. I was told he was another student – I think a postgrad student but I don’t really know. They told me that I didn’t have much of a case because his behaviour was too close to ‘normal male behaviour’ and they can only deal with each incident separately – i.e. we weren’t allowed to tell the UCT court that he had groped other women and shown a consistent pattern of harassment.

Instead I was advised to apply for a restraining order from the police. Disco helped me fill it in. Then a few months and several incidents later I got a phonecall from Disco asking why I wasn’t at the magistrate’s court. My stalker had contested the restraining order and was sitting there with a lawyer. Nobody had told me to be there. Scruffily dressed and panicked my mother and I scrambled to the courtroom. I had to sit in a small room with him while his lawyer made his case. I was terrified and hated being seated next to him. I had to listen to the lawyer telling the magistrate that his client was just flirting with me like a ‘normal man’. A representative from Disco was there to help me and to his credit he tried his best. I am happy to hear that in the years since this situation the government has changed its policy on restraining orders but at the time you could only get a restraining order against someone you had been in a relationship with. I had no prior connection to my stalker. I learned that day that neither the law nor my institution would stop this man from harassing me and that I just had to deal with his ‘normal male behaviour’.

I got through it and got my degree. I actually did really well despite operating in a constant state of fear.  I didn’t get groped and at some point I stopped seeing him on campus. While I made it through, I think someone with less of a support network of family and friends may not have. Compared to many other women and indeed to many of this man’s victims, I got off lightly. The temptation to leave UCT or to stop attending class was big. It felt unfair that this person who didn’t even know was derailing my freedom whilst he was free to saunter around campus and lurk in narrow passageways terrorising women. How could this be right? How could the institution let this happen?

There is a positive side to this. These encounters lent new meaning and purpose to my engagement with feminist theory. I had to question the way we think of ‘normal male behaviour’ and the way we allow men to limit women’s freedoms while policing and silencing women. While I value what I learned and how this process shaped me I believe that no young women should have to deal with this at a place of learning.

I really believe that the process at UCT is flawed and skewed in favour of protecting UCT and protecting purpetrators. During my undergraduate years at UCT male harassment was tolerated and victims were shut down and siphoned off into the magistrates court where they may or may not have achieved a restraining order. When I saw him on campus 5 years later I was shocked because the sighting seemed to confirm the fact that nothing has changed – here he is moving freely, presumably continuing his behaviour. How many women has he harassed? What was he even doing there? A PhD maybe? I was struck with horror when I thought perhaps he was a staff member now. I never got the answers to these questions because, as in every case, when I saw him I ran in fear like an animal. That fear will never go away.

A while back I went back to DISCO and offered to help out and improve the experience of people who experience harassment. I don’t think they fully understood what I meant or registered that I wanted to correct a system that had failed me. In frustration I left it alone.  I believe we can build a better support system for women on campus. There are staff members who are willing and able to aid in this process. I’m not sure what the way forward is and must admit to often being to busy or exhausted to follow through on my desire to help prevent this stuff  but I hope this story offers one more perspective and one more voice behind the need to stop the culture of silence that others have described.

I was sexually assaulted in my res room

I am a second-year student, living in  a female res. One day, during O-week, I was sexually harassed in my room. On this day, a boy that I know had made his way from the dining hall to my room. He was not signed into the res as a visitor, but he gained access to the res as it was a meal time and he lived at our brother res that eats in our dining hall. Apparently, he had been asking people during lunch where I was. He didn’t know what my room number was but he followed one of my friends, without her knowing, to her flat as he knew that we shared a flat in the res.

I was watching youtube videos in my room when I heard a knock on my door. I was not decent so yelled “just a minute” assuming that it was one of my friends. Before I was even out of my bed, the door flung open and this boy walked in. At first I was worried about the fact that my room was a mess and that I was not wearing a bra. I was also worried that I might get in trouble because he was not signed in. So, I tried to push him out of my room. He pushed against me and forced himself back into my room. I didn’t even realize how serious the situation was at first because I knew him well. I just thought that he didn’t realize that he was being inappropriate.
Once in my room, he proceeded to squeeze me so that my arms were tucked under his and I couldn’t use them in defense. He kissed me hard against the cheek and then pushed me against the wall. Here is when I realised the severity of the situation. I could feel, what I believe to be, an erection pushing up against me. So, I pushed back against him to free myself from being pinned up against the wall but, he managed to steer me towards the bed where he fell on top of me and the struggle continued.
I was not raped as, by the grace of god, I managed to roll out from underneath him. I turned around and yelled “what is wrong with you?”. What was absolutely shocking was that he looked up at me, confused, believing that his actions were not wrong. I believe that he didn’t consider his actions to be a violating.
I left the room and he followed me out. I tried to get to a more public place but suddenly he turned around and began chasing me. I ran back into my flat and into my friend’s room which is a floor above my own. He thought that I had ran into my own room and proceeded to bang on my door, throw his body against my door (even taking run-ups), and yell my name and to let me in. It took 4 girls to talk him into leaving.
Immediately after the event happened, I reported it to the res. When telling the RFO what had happened her response was “you see, I keep telling you girls to lock your doors”. This is absolutely shocking, never mind the fact that I was violated, that my privacy, volition and free will was infringed upon. The point here is not that I should have locked my door, it is that somebody felt that they could walk into my room and hold me down because they felt entitled to my body.
Immediately a meeting was called with some sub-wardens, the RFO and the temporary warden of our brother res that this boy belonged to. The boy, being on the House Committee of that res. In the meeting, one of the sub-wardens from my own res suggested that he receive a warning and if he did something again that he should be removed from house-comm. Throughout this meeting the warden of the boys’ res nodded blankly and looked completely disinterested- as if I had woken him up from a nap.
The res told me that they would handle it from there. Yet, I received no notification of what was being done to deal with this situation.
I reported my case to the police and opened a criminal case against him. However, I learnt through a friend and not my res, that he was being taken back to his home in Durban to undergo psychological treatment as it was believed he had a “manic attack”.
I closed the case because I believed that I could not cope with the stress of it all.
My main concern was how the res and UCT handled this situation. I was shocked that they even considered keeping him on house- comm. I had to fight so hard to get him removed from res.
– What also shocked me was that the res was so secretive about it. There was no discussion about it. No warning was given to the rest of the res. Nothing, just silence and secrecy
– I was not informed of the options I had, that I should report the case to Discho or even to the police.
– I was not offered any counseling. All they did was send an untrained sub-warden to my room that evening to ask how I was doing.
For months after that, I didn’t feel safe in my room. Thankfully, I have family in Cape Town that were there to help me, advise me and offer support. But, I shudder to think how anyone without an established  support system would have managed in this situation.
The boy underwent psychological treatment in Durban for about 4 months and returned to UCT in second semester with no mark on his record. I sometimes see him on campus and freak out. Why should I have to take different routes to avoid him on campus? Why should I be the one to not go to certain campus events because he is also going?