Re-traumatised by Student Wellness

In my first year, I was raped, as a virgin, by a mentor in my res whilst I went to see him in his room. I was intensely traumatized by the incident such that when I had gotten back to my room, after the violence had all ended. I went to shower to wash away all the shame, the guilt, the pain, his scent – and unfortunately I collapsed in the shower, I was unconscious for 45 minutes. I was woken up by the coldness of the water. I decided I had to go see a doctor, I managed to get an appointment with Student Wellness, to see a doctor the next day.

I arrived 2 mins late for my appointment with the doctor – because I didn’t know where student wellness was, the doctor had not even arrived as yet but when he arrived he looked at me and told me that I was late, shouting, and he led me to his consultation room. He asked me what was wrong, I told him I fainted in the shower, and I was unconscious for 45 mins, and at the time, my stomach was swollen and quite painful – this happens whenever I am under a lot of stress as I have a medical condition that is exacerbated by stress. And then I also reluctantly told him that I was raped the day prior. He looked at his watch and back at me, and he told me I have too many problems and I have to pick one for him to focus on. He told me that he doesn’t have time to attend to my issues particularly since I am late. He said he only has 15 mins per student and that isn’t enough time for him to attend to all my complaints. He told me I just delayed him from a very important commitment he has after this consultation because I was late. He took my blood pressure and told me it was very low but there’s nothing he can do about that – he said I fainted because of stress and there’s no medication for that. Then he proceeded to tell me my time is up, and he needs to leave. And he said I understand you have a lot of problems so he said he will provide me with 3 free doctors appointments with him, within the next 2 weeks after he returns from a trip he had. I felt so invalidated and disrespected.

Furthermore, after leaving his room,on my way out. I overhear him to speaking to a nurse about what he said, whilst I was busy settling my bill.The nurse comes to me an tells me, she can see from my folder that my complaint did not need a doctor and I should’ve just seen a nurse, and she proceeded to speak explicitly about what the doctor told her about me, and what she read from my folder. This conversation is happening in the waiting room, a full but quiet room, everyone heard her. I left student wellness still without HIV prophylaxis, STI meds or the pill, I left feeling worse than when I came. I couldn’t bring myself to putting myself in a situation where I could be invalidated again. So I went to the pharmacy and got the pill. I just had to sit and hope, I wouldn’t contract HIV. This year, I found out I contracted an incurable STI – HPV, and that I am high risk for developing cervical cancer. Because of that one doctor, who discarded of me like trash. No words can capture the trauma, I lived, and continue to carry with me.